


Do You Permit It?

by DesertLily



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Based on that one scene in Les Mis, Character Death, Enjolras and Grantaire parallels, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I'm not sorry, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd-centric, Les Misérables References, M/M, Reflection, Regret, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: Jason Todd regretted many things in his life. Falling in love with Roy Harper was not one of them.
Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Do You Permit It?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even remotely sorry for this.

Jason Todd would be the first one to admit he had made a lot of mistakes in his life. He wasn’t perfect. In fact, he was everything but. He was loud, scrappy, and untamed. Even before he died, there had been a recklessness in him. It had practically been his defining trait! The reckless Robin! Bruce Wayne’s uncontrollable second son. Though, no one remembered those traits anymore. He was the dead robin. Bruce Wayne’s undead son. In the eyes of most, Jason Todd was defined by his death; a ghost tormenting those around him. One of his biggest regrets was not changing that definition; not doing something else with his second chance at life. Instead, he had become a creature of vengeance. He had consumed himself with anger over his death and unleashed it onto the world. He had lost other parts of himself too. 

Whilst  Jason Todd had been reckless,he was also kind. He had grown up in Crime Alley; grown up at the bottom of Gotham’s social chain and he had never forgotten it. He always made sure to give as much as he could to those in Crime Alley. Jason still remembered what it felt like to be a rat scrambling for crumbs from Gotham’s elite. If he could help another of those ‘rats’ for so much as a moment then he would without hesitation. It was why he had taken over the Gotham drug trade; to make sure the rats got a good deal. To make sure no one made addicts out of teenagers anymore. To make sure families weren’t torn apart over a simple habit. To make sure no one else ended up like Catherine Todd. She was another of his regrets. Catherine Todd. _ His mom. _ He had never been able to save her. He had never been able to help her live the life she deserved, and that  _ hurt _ . It hadn’t stopped hurting since the day she had died all those years ago. Not really. 

Jason’s next regret was Bruce Wayne. He knew he was never going to have a perfect relationship with Bruce; they had been through too much for that. But Jason knew that he could have still done more. He could have accepted Bruce’s offer of Hamlet tickets or tickets to go watch the Gotham Knights or all those dinner invites or...Bruce had offered him so many lifelines and Jason hadn’t accepted a single one. He had foolishly thought he had all the time in the world; that he could just mope and whine his way through the residues of Pit Madness before going back to the family. He had thought he would have more time to do these sorts of things.Hell, he hadn’t even called Bruce ‘dad’ yet. He was twenty and he had never once called the only real father figure he had ‘ _ dad _ ’. Fuck. That was definitely a regret; not fixing his relationship with Bruce and not letting him know how much he cared. 

He regretted his siblings on much the same wavelength as he regretted Bruce. Jason had never tried to get to know them; he had never been a stable  _ brotherly _ figure in their lives. Even before he died, he hadn’t exactly been close to Dick. Sure, Dick had  _ tried _ \- even throwing in a few brotherly nicknames. But with his work in Bludhaven and the fact Dick hadn’t been on speaking terms with Bruce, there really had been very few chances for them to solidify their brotherly bond. Then there came Tim. His  _ replacement.  _ And fucking hell, Jason had really treated him like shit. God knows how many times he’d tried to kill him. It had been instinctive at first; he was only there to fill the hole left behind when Jason died, so logically Jason had needed to kill him to take his place back in the family. In hindsight, it had been pretty shitty logic. It had also gotten in the way of him playing any sort of role as Tim’s big brother. At most, they had ended up friendly acquaintances - which was more than could be said for Damian. 

Jason had met Damian a few times before he came back to Gotham. The meetings had been sporadic and during Jason’s training with the League of Assassins before Talia sent him to Ducra. The two had gotten on as well as they could during that small amount of time. Jason had been  _ almost _ fond of the brat. Either Damian had forgotten about it or resented Jason for leaving. The very first thing Damian had done when they met again was throw a knife at him. Their ‘brotherly bond’ had never progressed much after that. Jason had just let Damian be Dick’s problem and left at that. He regretted not pushing it. Then came Cass...Cass was the best of all of them - not just in terms of skill, but as a person too. She was  _ good _ and  _ kind _ in a way the rest of them could never be. She had been through hell yet she still found reasons to smile. Jason envied her on that. Then came Duke. Jason could count on one hand the amount of times he had met Duke Thomas. Not one of those occasions involved Jason trying to get to know him. Instead, he was just dismissed as yet another kid Bruce had deemed worthy of being pulled into the mess that was vigilantism. Maybe if he had tried to get to know him then Jason would have realised they had things in common; both had experienced trauma by the Joker’s hand and Jason probably would have been able to provide support for him. But instead, he just...hadn’t. He’d refused to make himself part of the family again.

Then came one of the few things Jason didn’t regret. The Outlaws. More specifically; Roy Harper. Sure Artemis, Kori, and Bizarro were great but none of them were  _ Roy _ . None of them seemed to understand Jason as well as Roy did. None of them had the same laugh as Roy or the same dumb sense of humour or  _ that fucking trucker hat _ ...None of them had captured Jason’s heart like Roy Harper had. Jason couldn’t pinpoint the moment he had fallen in love with Roy but when the realisation hit, it was like a tidal wave. It washed over Jason entirely. Far too many stray thoughts went to Roy - as did far too many  _ dreams _ . But he didn’t have any thoughts when they kissed for the first time. No, at that exact moment, Jason had been positive that his brain had stopped working. It had been absolutely  _ perfect _ . Jason didn’t regret falling in love with Roy Harper. He regretted not telling him goodbye. 

Jason had known he was making a beyond reckless decision when he decided to go after Joker. There was no way he could take out the man  _ and  _ his henchmen alone. Not even Red Hood could do that. But the clown had broken out of Arkham again and he already knew what was going to happen. Joker would start killing people until Batman found him, Batman would apprehend him, then he would go back to Arkham until he broke out again. It was a vicious cycle that seemed to never end. It looped around and around; again and again. No one would dare disturb the cycle. Even Jason had been scared to disturb it alone but he  _ knew _ it had to be done. He went alone. None of the Bats would have gone with him if he asked - no, they’d all just try to stop him instead. And there was no way he would even consider exposing any of the Outlaws to  _ him. _ He cared about his friends too much for that. So Jason went alone. He slid out of bed carefully one night, donned his Red Hood gear and went to climb out of his apartment window. He spared one glance back at a sleeping Roy before leaving. He didn’t even bother to leave a note explaining where he was going. 

Red Hood held his hand guns with an iron grip as he stalked down Amusement Mile. There was a warehouse at the end and he knew  _ exactly _ who was inside. It was time to end this - end  _ him _ \- or die trying. From the second he shot one of the henchmen, he knew he was a dead man walking. The gunshot was loud. It wasn’t a subtle takedown or strategic in the slightest; it was one man calling out to a swarm of enemies. It was one man full of anger and regret. Jason was systematic as he fired shot after shot after shot, barely registering every time a body fell or every time he reloaded. Then  _ he  _ appeared. Stepping out of the warehouse like the devil at the gates of Hell came the clown himself.  _ Joker _ . Jason navigated the sea of henchmen to get closer and closer. Then he was right in front of him. The man didn’t so much as flinch as a gun was pointed right between his eyes. Red Hood pulled the trigger and....

Nothing. 

Nothing happened.

The gun was out of bullets and Jason had nothing more to reload it with. Fuck. This was bad. No, this was beyond bad. It was  _ terrifying _ . What was more terrifying was the hands grabbing him, manhandling his guns away from him as they shoved him to his knees. Everything was a little fuzzy after that. Jason remembered being dragged inside the warehouse and they certainly remembered the pain that followed. The feeling of the Joker’s crowbar crashing down on their skin was far too familiar as was the laugh that accompanied it. It was Hell. It had to be. Only Hell would be cruel enough to put Jason through this a second time. He wasn’t sure how long he was there taking the beating for. Hours? Days? No, definitely hours. Jason could just see outside through the open warehouse door. The light outside hadn’t changed enough for it to be days. So hours, then. He couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had noticed he was missing; if anyone was coming after him. 

Eventually, someone forced Jason to his feet before ripping off his helmet. The loss of his helmet made them feel even more vulnerable than before. He was forced to meet the Joker’s ice cold eyes. The clown seemed to study him for a few moments before an impossibly wide smile broke out on his face. “As much as I’ve been enjoying our time together, Red, all good things come to an end. Besides, I thought it would be wonderful to leave Batsy a little gift for when he drops by.” Jason knew what was going to happen next. He knew how things were going to end. He also knew he wouldn’t be coming back again. This was the end of the line for Jason Todd. “I’ll even be nice to you! A good old fashion execution! The perfect second ending for one of Batman’s many soldiers. Besides, we’ve been there and done that with an explosion. Haven’t we, birdy?” He felt sick. He wanted to fight back; to scrap for the Joker to just shut the fuck up. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. It wouldn’t do anything anymore. 

Jason didn’t say a word as he was forced to stand against a wall. He knew Joker would want him to beg for his life; to cry and plead to be let go. But Jason wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. It would be his final act of defiance. He couldn’t help but wonder who would find him. One of his siblings maybe? Or would Bruce have to go through finding his broken lifeless body all over again? Or...Or would it be Roy? He held his head up proud as the Joker and his goons turned their guns to him. This was it. This was the end. This was - “Stop!” Jason knew that voice. “You don’t get to do this to him!” Oh no. No. No. No. No. “You don’t get to take him out. Not without me.” There in all his glory with that fucking trucker cap stood Roy Harper. Only he would be stupid enough to do this. 

The Joker seemed to pause at that. The look of distrust on his face was clear for all to see. But it barely lasted five seconds before the clown was gesturing for Roy to join Jason against the wall. “Two for the price of one...I’m not one to refuse a good offer!” 

Roy’s smile was sad as he moved to stand besides his boyfriend. “There’s no me without you, Jay. I won’t let you go through this alone. Not again.” The archer held his hand out to him. “Do you permit it?” 

Under any other circumstances, Jason would have laughed at Roy of all people making a Les Mis reference. At least it was proof that he paid attention whenever Jason rambled on about his latest book. But now wasn’t the time. The time for true laughter was gone. Jason didn’t hesitate before taking Roy’s hand in his. He tried to offer up a reassuring smile. 

_ The smile had not finished when the report resounded _

**Author's Note:**

> The last line is from the chapter 'Orestes Fasting and Pylades Drunk' in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Or hmu @ desert-lily on tumblr!


End file.
